Loss is Hard

Yeah I know this may be an understatement and that it is common sense. However, we are wrapping up our series on Emotions and Feelings tomorrow and this sums up today.

As you may know from listening to our radio show we have four cats. I’ll give a little back story. My daughters fell in love with the idea of helping animals when their dad left in January of 2015. They found Duncan’s Place Cat Sanctuary on Facebook and my younger daughter and myself volunteered for six months at our local animal shelter.

I guess I was trying to make up for my past mistakes and wanted my girls to be happy and learn responsibility. I can not count quickly the number of cats we fostered and adopted. We quickly decided that with our crazy schedules that kittens were not a good fit any then gained a strong fondness and soft spot in our hearts for older cats. Especially over 10 years and at the shelter for a while. It was hard to see the animals in small cages and the large carts of animals euthanized at the shelter. We wanted to save them all.

Anyway, I got a beautiful grey old man cat with piercing green eyes from the shelter. He was my baby. I told him to live forever and that he was handsome and sexy. Well unexpectedly he got sick and passed away not long before I met Donnie. I was devastated and decided I had room in my heart to help another grey senior kitty.

My daughter and I went to the shelter and saw a grey and white beautiful sassy senior kitty with a red bandanna. She had been at the shelter for months because of the bandanna that meant she did not like to be picked up. We don’t tote our cats around so we met with her and fell in love. Her name was Bacchus because her parents thought she was a boy and they released her to the shelter when they got divorced and she had a sibling but I think the sibling had past… not sure on that detail. Anyway, she was sassy and beautiful. I fell in love and named her Barbie.

Barbie

She LOVED laps and did not like other cats. We all gave her space when needed. She slowly got older and skinny. She ate and played and loved cookies. She was so cute to sneak into a lap when she thought you were not paying attention. She adored Donnie and loved when he would talk and read and let her lay on his chest.

She was such a good kitty. A couple days ago I noticed she looked grumpy. I paid extra attention to how much she was eating and drinking. I gave her extra cookies and snuggles. I checked on her every time she yelled ( that was another on of her things to yell for no reason).

Yesterday I asked my daughter to come help me give her a bath. She had been outside to play a few days ago in the sun and still had not cleaned her feet. We helped her feel and smell good. Then noticed she couldn’t walk. She wouldn’t drink or eat even wet food or cookies. She was so old that our best bet in the middle of the night was to keep her comfortable. She didn’t seem to be in pain. I held her for the better part of 12 hours. I told her that Donald was on his way home.

She lifted her head when he shut the car door. When he came in she lifted her head and reached out her paw. As if to say I need you and I love you. He said he wanted it hold her to give me a break. She took her last breath shortly afterwards. We talked to her and held her and told her we loved her so much. We will take her to be cremated tomorrow and I may have to mention this on the show.

My heart has a large hole for her now. I miss her dearly and my house seems empty. I still have three cats and I snuggle two of them last night. Loss is really hard and the holidays make it worse. When I was caring for her and keeping her comfortable to wait for her Donald I realized that nothing else mattered. I could have cleaned or cooked. I couldn’t focus on the tv or a book. I didn’t want her to feel alone. My heart needed her to know that she was loved and not alone.

Hug your loved ones tight today. People and animals. Take a moment to let them know you love them and how important they are to you. I have one senior cat now and I plan to spoil her rotten.

See you tomorrow on the show, Donald and Christie Rose

Published by Mental Acumen Radio

We are the hosts of a Radio show on FreedomizerRadio.com.

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